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Lydia4072
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Help! I don't know what to change in this poem either. Can someone please help me out? It's called An Unseen Friendship.


I don't know if I trust my friend

But I don't really care

For she has never once seen how much I truly truly care

So I'm giving up on our friendship.

I know she doesn't want me there

I can see it in her eyes.

Whenever she laughed at any of my jokes,

I look into her eyes but they are blank

as if there was nothing there.

That's when I knew for sure that she despises me most of all.

Our friendship is unseen

Yes, it is unseen.

Verified Answer :

kf1809

Put a comma after the first "truly." And instead of putting the word "eyes" twice, you could try to change the first one to something like "facial expressions.." or "body language" or something like "I can see it when she's with me.." so by that one, you can combine it with the next line.

Hope this helps in some way. It's my first time.

heyhayhey

And care is there twice, so maybe change it to "she's never seen the truth in my loving stare" or some other thing that fits into what is written.

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